Activecitizen54's Blog

Weekend Warrior 5.11

Posted in Uncategorized by activecitizen54 on May 11, 2013

Weekend Warrior 5.11

I’ve been working to distract myself from the painful reality of my Imp* departing and the conditions of today with little to no success.  That may be part of this strange fascination with Gay & Gray that’s begun consuming me in my current state of decomposition.

When some dis-embodied voice over the phone or flesh and blood in front of me asks:  “What State are you from?” 

I gleefully respond “Confusion.”

This is not just humor and playful banter but a reflection of a much deeper truth of America and Americans today from my humble perspective of looking outside in.  I enjoy employing this nearly as much as the stock response I have for: “Is the glass half-empty or Half-full?”  in “You have twice the damned glass you need.”

Both answers are intentionally thought-provoking and create an emotional state of confusion from which truth inevitably breaks free.  Kevin’s creative and interactive world is explored through this tool employed ever more frequently in my current state of decomposition.

Earlier in life I became very well acquainted with the “disposable-human” mindset by exposure and reality so I do understand that subset of culture in America.  If nothing more; the experiences of Mikey The Beer Sponge and family ego mass define this as poster-children for Catholic guilt and absolute destruction of anything beyond their narrow and petty grasp.  Dangerous Dan and ilk thieves re-enforced this and continue in their Irish Traveler life-style.

For me real change came when I recognized, during the 5 years wars with Victor that narcissists, abusers and guilt-ridden humans have no place in my life regardless of redeeming qualities (if any exist) or the joy of the moment.  All demonstrate the mind-set of: “You left me just when I needed you most.”  With this statement a clear understanding of that “bait & switch” tactic displays the primary intent from these [sub]humans from their first insidious worming into life. 

I accept my involvement and commitment in these issues with little to no remorse, regret or animosity because in the final examination none of it will matter in 100 freaking years anyway.

There is an odd anecdote about Involvement & Commitment from my swimming upstream in a river of Self-Help books: Commitment and Involvement are best defined by a ham & eggs breakfast.  The chicken is involved but the pig is committed.

All this and much more comprises the human who addresses the world today with compassion and a profound enlightenment of soul resulting from survival.  I am of the firm conclusion that “survival” in this hostile environment is the best any of us are able to sustain. 

Some never attain enlightenment.  Hell’s Bells; from my experience damned few are ever able to attain “Human” status much less “civilized, socialized or enlightened.”  In this sanitized “un-friend,” Internet, Texting, Skype to Drone attacks DE-humanized and DE-personalized homogenized culture of “disposable-humans” as constructed by media and Corporate Super-Person captured Government what is one to expect?   Socialization, Civics and Cultural Obligations no longer apply and that’s apparent in the dumbing-down of this once great nation and it’s People, Sheeples and unwashed wanna-bes fleeing from a Corporate-Created 3rd World at home to the “promise” of America’s Orwellian decay.

Hope Springs Infernal.

Today is one of “those” days when a Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas could easily rule my world because that is the Matrix-Reality seen just beyond the end of my nose.  This is triggered with life & death reality and all the charm of a good Christian Fag-Bashing and those boys will never learn it is much nicer to kiss.  I am not going on a “Gonzo-Journalism” rant here either. 

I fully acknowledge being less than “Centered” at this moment with clear understanding that My Center is now altered and the equilibrium not quite restored from the shift.  The “Ellie Mae Clampett” in me resurrected by reality.  I am true to my Berdache Path and, Like Bosho & Sora celebrate the sorrows and joys.

“Infested now with lice and fleas, the horse beside my pillow pees.”  Basho from Narrow Road To The Interior.

It is my “attachment” that is the source of my pain.  There is no alone in that we are all-one.  That is my silly platitude for the day and it functions for me in adhering to the NOW that is the best any of we conscious humans are able to muster.

* Imp:  Avery, a Red-Sided Eclectus (Roratus roratus) parrot with me for 28 years died on 4/30/2013.

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