Activecitizen54's Blog

Weekend Warrior 6.8.13

Posted in Uncategorized by activecitizen54 on June 8, 2013

Weekend Warrior 6.8.13

 

The Earth and reality shifting on it’s axis has come to an end.

 

As this new reality settles in with me more alone than ever in life a remarkable calm has descended upon the Oasis.  I’m not sure if this is reality or just the final fall-out from the devastation of the Imps leaving this world. In any event the Shamanic path is leveled, the reality adjusted and the 3-eyed Troll kept at bay.

I’ve had several days of absolute solitude and reflection in this beautiful garden, beach and Oasis of my construction and the positive energy is maintained.  My biggest fear in all this is that the poison of grief, anger and resentment would consume all the hard work and investment.  Been there, done that, not going back.

The newest member of the household is still learning communication skills and diligent in his pursuit of that goal.  Peace has settled in and perhaps this will be an effective solution all the way around. 

The Gay & Gray continues unabated as reality of becoming just another invisible Lesbian Taxpayer grows ever stronger.  A great part of what consumes me today is the idea of legacy in this world.  Somewhere in my Altered Perception the idea of what is left behind has begun to consume me.  The works of art, the writing, the random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty uphold and move me through without reward in this reality and yet I am loath to forgo them.

A great part of this may be just the normal aging process but without road-map and without role model moving through this road less traveled is frightening and exhilarating all at the same time.  I’m amazed at the recognition from within of how dependent upon other things my identity, self-identity truly is.  This is one of the moments when looking in the mirror the 16 year-old and the remnants of the child refuse to recognize reality.

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