Activecitizen54's Blog

Weekend Warrior 7.7.13

Posted in Uncategorized by activecitizen54 on July 6, 2013

Weekend Warrior 7.7.13

Wow, just wow.  Changes, shifts in the paradigm and restoration with truth for the 20 year friendship that was gravely at risk for 3 or 4 consecutive months. I feel renewed and invigorated again in life.  Thank you dinmoc, you have, by being you, restored my faith and confidence in my abilities in life. Thank you for being a friend.

The paradigm shift is real and I hope lasting.

Within my Gay & Gray experiences here in the Tropics I’ve kept to a path that has often diverged from what the cultural demands would apparently dictate.  I’m not a drinker or a druggie although I do not make judgement either for or against anything except for myself. 

Understanding the motivation for this line of inquiry is simple for me or the casual reader because I went from a Loner’s adolescence to a disastrous 11 year attempt to conform to societal demands to divorce, a Gay Marriage and divorce.  I’ve had the experience of being enabler to a guilty Catholic alcoholic and it’s ill family, survived cocaine addiction in the eighties, tried and enjoyed LSD, Peyote, Mescal and my all time favorite hallucinogenic Magic Mushrooms and have remained highly functional through life.  Vision Quests each experience that have yet to culminate. 

I recognize druggies, the truly addicted, from scent and behavior in a skinny minute even with all of today’s designer drugs being beyond my chipping experience.  For me these experiences have become rights of passage and with that recognition comes acceptance and compassionate understanding for others.

Aboriginal cultures recognize these rights of passage as an integral portion of the development and growth of humans often on levels that are masked and buried by popular culture.  The Urban Aboriginals (those who form “tribes” and live beyond cultural norms) have become a life-long focus of inquiry for me.

From the Rainbow Family Communes of my teenage years, through the drug-culture of the 70s & 80s to today’s chemical-dependent culture I have actively sought out and come to know these fringe elements* driven by intense curiosity. 

For me, with understanding of myself from places no human should go without adult supervision; this primate “identification” is body and soul language that is very difficult for the untrained to suppress and seldom explored.  The recognition of this process was spawned by a grade school nemesis because of my older brother coming-out. “Pansy” the torture tool for the bully.  The American Psychological Society still considered homosexuality an illness and Stonewall had not yet happened at this time.  “Belt the Bully” the prescription and unacceptable to my Buddhist self.  The point of this is that once I was “identified” as Gay and unafraid, my circle of friends became those others who were sexually suspect for protection and fraternity very reflective of primate social behavior.  Thank you Jane Goodall.

For me, this foundational act of being set separate from the others, happened much earlier and provided me strength and direction for what was to come, prepared me, in some strange way for what was to come.  I drowned when I was 3 years old, was rescued by David (my primary abuser) and understood the alteration of life from that point forward.  The Bully and the resulting social structures led to clearer understanding of politics and society.  The Loner and the historian were born from within this place with nature as a refuge.

Altered Perception is the foundational piece that chronicles these events and observations.

Living in the now, today, this moment I am following my bliss.  I have spent a lifetime caring for others in what may well be a smoke-screen for me.  Aside from coping with all the grief issues of Bea & Avery the events of life within our happy household here took some unusual and frightening turns but is back on track to rocket into the future now.

I feel, today, as if I have been rocketed into the gravity well of a black-hole and skimmed off the horizon event attaining light-speed and beyond.  I am following my bliss. 

Thank you for being my friend.


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