Activecitizen54's Blog

Hump Day Happiness 10.30.13

Posted in Creative Construction by activecitizen54 on October 30, 2013

Hump Day Happiness 10.30.13

South of the Border

South of the Border

Yesterday morning, bright and early on the bus and down to south St Pete to the psychotherapists provided me some sense of empowerment in life of and for me.  It’s making the adjustment to life of and for me that is most difficult at this moment.  I am now two weeks camped out at Richards place with the cable and internet installed so I may continue to work here as I did at home on Tori Beach.  Lee’s last appearance was on Friday and, much to his credit he did keep his word to help me get to the psychiatrist.

(The great humor in that is the reality of just how he “helped” get me to the psychiatrist with that nasty mean-drunk and no count Vienna sausage-dicked JAP gutter snipe and his manipulative games and primate displays.)

I know I probably should have cropped off the dangley parts when I had the opportunity but I didn’t for the sake of reality press.  You do know how I live and breathe to keep things real.

Anyway the topic here is me (for a change) and I’m doing OK today.  Feeling worn out but that’s just the lack of sleep since Saturday.  Yes, I’ve had great difficulty sleeping since seeing the psychiatrist but it was Lee who did the damage that keeps me awake doing the required repairs.  This display to the left is what The Lee did for himself to “show-off” and “provide motivation” for me while I was working on the phone in the front office of the Gardener’s Cottage on Tori Beach.  I’m thinking this photo was taken 8/28/13 or close to that.  I suppose Lee didn’t think he had the hooks set deep enough yet to accomplish the desired ending and, thankfully, those hooks were never set because I just wouldn’t allow it.

The pain created by Lee on Friday arises from his clear intentions and his vile attitude that is founded solely within himself as is everything Lee.  So for me, doing this is therapeutic and displays the very essence of what this emotionally handicapped creature, this manipulative monster, the Bad Seed Lee is all about. 

I wounded myself in forcing Lee to keep his word.  After not seeing or speaking to him for 3 weeks I pushed and got my way.  I’m sure the wounds are equal on both sides but then again for Lee to be wounded he would require a conscious and that’s non-existent.  This is the man who “uses” others to gain what he wants now.

The image is important only to me but for me it portrays the fundamental and essential lie and foundational fraud of the narcissistic creature captured in digital imagery here. 

The good news is that Jorge Villatoro and I spoke yesterday about getting the hotel and ecotourism business up and running into Mezapa, Honduras and I’ve agreed to assist in the funding for that project as well.  Here I go pleading to the mafia for a million.  I may end up married to accomplish this but it will be well worth the suffering.

During the course of the day today I spent a small amount of time and sent this email off to Lee:


October is nearly over and in a strong desire for closure, resolution for myself, I am compelled to impose upon you for a brief moment here.  Thank you for your indulgence.

I miss my friend Lee.  I hold no ill will toward you nor would I ever wish you any harm now or ever. I pray you obtain all you desire in life and want you to know that I do love my friend Lee now and always.  It is because I do love and care about your health and well being that I addressed honestly and directly the addiction and the behavior changes that are damaging to you and clearly damaged me. 

Do you understand that Lee?
You have clearly and intentionally damaged me.
You employed intellectual intimacy and used others to accomplish this.

For me to heal I have to bring myself to a point of forgiveness and compassion for you and mostly for myself. 

You’ve been very clear that your intent now, as from May forward, is to inflict as much pain, deliver as much venom and poison life in any and every way you could manipulate inclusive of the use of others.  I see this, I know this and I forgive you for your foundational fraud and basic lie of life in your betrayal of trust and total departure from truth and reality.

Lee you came to share a home with me, WE found and CREATED Tori Beach as a cooperative effort.  YOU began the sabotage and destruction founded in your resentment and dishonesty in March nearly a year later (11 months to be exact).

I do forgive you and want you to know that I spent the happiest year of my life living peacefully with my friend Lee who I do love and care for but I am not in love with.  I would be happy today living with my friend Lee but the creature you’ve become under the influence of crystal meth is obscene.  The liars and thieves with whom you associate disgusting and without any redeeming qualities and unwelcome in my life now or ever.  Those are your choices as the current life conditions demonstrate with my active destruction of Tori Beach.

The record is clear that it was and is my financial failure that created the destruction and I remind you one last time that you are and were held harmless and without liability while being FULLY INFORMED.  It was and is with your full knowledge and totally above-board as I struggled to meet the demands of maintaining Tori Beach.

My resentment began with your crystal meth induced paranoia, your obscene demands to turn OUR Home into someone else’s closet and the obscene use of the nasty JAP to drive the wedges you obviously required to move on.  Ask yourself Why?

Lee, I do forgive you and wish you happiness and fulfillment in this life.

You defined clearly the creature that you aspire to be and that is not acceptable to me.  I pray you receive all you desire in this life, that you are happy and that one day, my friend Lee may reappear.

Your friend, who loves you,


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