Activecitizen54's Blog

Weekend Warrior 01.11.14

Posted in Uncategorized by activecitizen54 on January 12, 2014

Weekend Warrior 01.11.14

Life goes on here on the beautiful Grand Verandah of the Mobile Mansion in Pine Lane.

Over the past several weeks I have come to a place of forgiveness for me rather than for anyone else.  I’m settled with the absolute vile nature of Meth-Heads and Tweakers alike and will not tolerate any of them within life ever again.

My friend Montgomery Lee Freeman is dead to me as sure as his cadaverous visage still inhabits this world.  There can be no more repulsive a dynamic duo than Lurch and the Waitress as demonstrations from the Lee & Jim show provided for me.  Primates at best.  Say La Vie.

The Trailer Park Boys are taking on a definite Salsa flavor and I really think this is the South of the Border invitation…

In typical form for me; I’ve taken the Primate Feces flung at me in this life and turned them into the proverbial gold as the alchemy of writing allows me.  The perspective is clear and the position from me more valid than any escape into chemical alteration.  So for Lee (aka Monte, Montgomery Lee Freeman) the only possible path is the one he paves with each push of the needle.  Self-inflicted suicide by needle…

The rebirth is on the way, hope springs infernal and all that rot.  Jorge called last week and again this weekend.  He is in Miami this weekend and off to NYC then back to Honduras.  I am having the urge to run back south for a couple of months.

Update on the Kisa, Ukranian Cunt:  Attacks Kevin in a fit of rage.  Living in the Trailer Park Boys reality.  The War of life moves on.

The story of this Ukrainian Cunt is the same from Corey as always in picking up a stray off the street and sticking it in the house.  There are more than enough disposable kids, primates, mentally ill on the streets to make this an easy habit for one to prey upon those that have-not, do not have power, voice or skills with which to obtain them..

.

Advertisements

Rhapsody In Blue 12.30.13

Posted in Uncategorized by activecitizen54 on December 30, 2013

Rhapsody In Blue 12.30.13

George Gershwin magnum opus has always carried me through with the absolute genius of creation.  We “creative Humans” are nearly always awed by the absolute joy of following one’s bliss and this defines that concept clearly.

And another graphic example of following one’s bliss:

“If I have my world and others have their world; why should I give a shit about anyone else?”

Rantings of a Meth-Head in August.

Christmas All-One 12.25.13

Posted in Uncategorized by activecitizen54 on December 25, 2013

Christmas All-One 12.25.13

This Christmas is a healing and recovery time for me after the trials and tribulations of an evil and insincere friend and the addictions he brought to Tori Beach.

I’ve taken time, actually made time to send my deepest thanks off to a true savior in my life and he is family.  A nearly unheard of act within the dysfunctional and abusive family ego mass I separated from early and have kept at arm’s length for a life time.  Odd how fate, God or whatever you believe made this miracle in life happen.

As the Christians celebrate the birth of their Buddha I am very much reminded of Mohatmas Ghandi saying: “I like your Christ very much, but Christians not so much.”

2,000 years of man’s mythology bringing war, economic disparity, fueling bigotry and racism, sexism and a thousand other “isms” all in the name of a true Buddha whom they fail to grasp the messages he brought. 

I miss my Imps tonight more than I thought possible.  I had absolutely no awareness of how much of my time on this Earth they consumed creating Joy to absolute Bliss for me in the now.

I miss my friend Lee, but grasp why he hides like a coward and continues on his self-destructive path of slow suicide by needle. I am past the point of pity for him, beyond sympathy, moved through the anger and have no choice but accept that this is the path he is traveling and I’m not going there now or ever.  It wounds my soul to know that I am unable to rescue, care for or encompass this primate Montgomery Lee Freeman within my life.  The results of that last open endeavor are the ashes of Tori Beach and my broken heart from the loss of a man I once admired and care deeply for his health, safety and welfare.  I did my best.

I pray that one day my friend Lee will reappear but my knowledge tells me that less than 10% of first year addicts survive through recovery and by the second year of addiction less than 8%.  The picture isn’t pretty for those consuming the salt produced from Battery Acid & Drain-O for “recreation.”

Perhaps I’m just getting old.  There is no attraction to checking out of life for me.  There is no attraction to the “enhancement” experienced when the knowledge of the destruction of the brain tissues that generate pleasure in one’s brain are being fried by the chemical bath.  No attraction to the Meth-Rage that always accompanies the chemical alteration as the brain seeks to generate the same levels of intensity of feelings that the Meth bath does to one’s brain.  Substitute serotonin for dopamine and rage to the same intensity as the Meth creates.  12 to 14 times more stimulus in the pleasure center of the brain than sex or chocolate and in this Gay Community the sex is purely recreational and the drug intended to feed the addictions of sex and chemical alterations.  Been there, done that and the crash is just not worth it for me.  Perhaps I was saved by the neurontin/gabapentin or cetalopram that I consume daily.  I have no idea but I was obviously spared the brunt of the addictive qualities of this substance.

Lee was not so fortunate and by July he was hallucinating visually, auditory and locked in a paranoid delusion that focused upon me as the one man who spoke out clearly in providing facts of what the damages are.  I failed at this rescue too.

Motzart’s Ein Kline Nacht Music is playing in the background.

BLAST From The PAST 12.18.13

Posted in Uncategorized by activecitizen54 on December 18, 2013
BLAST From The PAST 12.18.13
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekzHIouo8Q4
GOOD-BYE MY LOVER; GOOD-BYE MY FRIEND
Excerpts from Tori Beach Chronicles foundation documentation.
All rights reserved by the author and any reproduction is strictly prohibited.
Lee:
It is 10/3/13 and I’m more alone than ever in life over the past 30 years.
 
There have been many changes over the past couple of years and, for me, the joy of day-to-day life with my friend Lee is the best thing that has ever happened.
If nothing else Lee; please know that I love you; without attachment, unconditionally; ALL because of who you’ve demonstrated yourself to be over time  This man who is chemically-altered is not the Montgomery Lee Freeman that I know.
 
Losing Bea & Avery destroyed me and maybe I’ve not taken the time to grieve, who knows at this point?
Watching my Friend Lee destroy himself with crystal meth is worse.
I grieve every day looking at your gaunt face and ribs.
I pray for your health, safety and welfare every day.
I saw; demonstrated the full cycle of abusive behavior through your aid in manipulation of the JIM. 
How long do you think it will take until the novelty wears off?
Ask Larry.
 
I am wounded and in pain from the unending denigration and being the object of your paranoia; all chemically induced.
When I look at the calender and the events of your paranoia’s appearance it coincides with your use of crystal meth.
Perhaps my first mistake was pandering to the paranoia by moving me out to the shed, I don’t know and autopsy is not important now.
 
What am I to do when my Friend Lee, a man whom I care deeply about his health, well-being and success in life is destroying himself and me?
 
I am not perfect Lee and never claimed to be perfect.  I have no expectation of perfection from others but honesty is demanded.
I am sorry that I’ve brought us to this point but I didn’t get here alone although I will be left alone to deal with the fall-out and repercussions; absolutely ostracized and alone.
 
I will miss you deeply and in time I will recover but that time is yet to be determined as I am lost this moment.
 
I am totally insane, depressed, locked in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as I’ve not experienced since Mikey The Beer Sponge and absolutely without hope.
I understand your anger and the crystal meth rage too, been there, done that, have a good handle on it and not going back for the Tee-shirt or the Baseball Cap.
 
The things I don’t understand are your concerns with “others” opinions, attitudes and games.
The Game wasn’t and isn’t required now or ever Lee.  The man I know would’ve simply said that “this doesn’t work for me” and taken responsibility in moving on with the courtesy, the honesty the open love, trust and admiration you’ve been delivered.
There can be no denial of the game because of the very real documentation and that still exists.
With or without benefits I am your friend now and always and as a friend I am devastated by the constant denigration, the insistence that I’m delusional when the history, the record supports the reality of life going to shit with the introduction of the poison of crystal meth into our lives.  That’s right Lee, “our lives” because of what once was an enviable friendship without a harsh word passing between us for years and years.  How do you justify your contempt of the real history Lee?
The humans associated with the substance are vile, thieves, liars and only concerned with their addiction.  You make it clear that is more attractive to you than unconditional love, support to the very best of my ability and the complete and total honesty you in your game have utilized as a weapon intent on murder.
The truth is that an addict is only able to hold one relationship and that’s with their substance of choice.
 
What is so wrong with saying: “I love my friend Lee?”
Why does this hurt you?
What is wrong with being intellectually intimate?
I provided you the insights and the tools that you’ve employed against me; why?
Lee, I admit I’ve failed. 
What is the point of continuing to beat me up?
Do you and your peers gain some gratification from just being abusive?
The Lee I know would’ve rolled up his sleeves and pitched in to help find the way to make Tori Beach live on but apparently you’ve killed him before your plans to kill me.
I have no regrets or remorse for making your 35th birthday a memorable experience. 
I have no regrets in life with Lee at all.
The abhorrent, self-destructive addict injected into my life; destroyed our life by poisoning Tori Beach with chemical escape, the man who loves and admires you through lies and deceit coupled with open abuse.
The delivery system is my objection.
I pray Karmic rewards strike swiftly to the Pushers.
Why did you feel obligated to shit all over my birthday?
What did I gain Lee?
Did that make you feel powerful?
Why are “power & control” issues at all Lee?
Did you enjoy the torture?
Founded in your construct of “with me” as clearly stated but you abhor ever existed.
Did you enjoy inflicting the pain?
It was your requirement for total destruction; murder by suicide.
Prime suspect.
Not attracted to older men.
 
Tori Beach is dead and I’ll go to my grave knowing I killed her because, in my heart and head I know to continue is sure death for both of us and I’m not being that kind of drama queen now or ever.
The magic and the positive energy of this place is and was the atmosphere of love and acceptance, the freedom, the unconditional love that is envied by others that you enjoyed and that drew the magic, the men, the laughter, freedom and joy of pure bliss in life now; Nirvana.  That was the only joint endeavor that qualified as “our” and the one you intentionally poisoned with playtime with Frankie on 4th Ave N who baited you in, turned you on to Crystal Meth and injected it into my life through you.
 
I freely admit to applying positive touch therapy to delivering messages of positive reinforcement and healing positive strokes to my friend Lee out of love and compassion because I saw; I felt your pain; your negative charges building and that confession is perhaps the first turning place.  Do you really think that helping a friend feel better about their self, their core being is a malicious or evil act?
 
There are no bonds, there are no ties holding you and that was clearly seen by the opportunistic bottom-feeders among whom you dwell now.
Why is that Lee?
Are you really that much a coward that you encouraged the lie, inflamed the fraud and manipulated the hate because your friend loves you and works diligently to the very best of his ability to help keep you fed, happy, healthy and secure?
 
I have an appointment with the Sun Coast Mental Health people in the works now.
I have kicked over into suicidal mode and am doing battle with myself so I have nothing, absolutely nothing left.
I miss my friend Lee.
 
I have contacted several resources for assistance in the electric and past due rent through out this process and continue to seek assistance now as I have for the past months without success which just beats me down even more.
 
I cost us Tori Beach by doing what I was able in doing my best while working and going broke.
Do you have any comprehension of what that feels like Montgomery Lee Freeman?
How would you feel parroting the script while your friend is out playing and partying; having a good time at your expense then comes home and delivers recovery time, anger, meth rage and abuse as his demonstrations of gratitude and recognition of the reality of my life within the confines of Tori Beach?
Do you have any ability to grasp that concept?
 
None of that matters.
I know you feel betrayed just as I.
I am sorry. 
I do apologize for my rage and hurtful remarks.
I will not ever apologize for loving my friend Lee now or ever to anyone.
 
I remain your friend,
Kevin

Manic Monday 12.16.13

Posted in Uncategorized by activecitizen54 on December 16, 2013

Manic Monday 12.16.13

As this year of discovery of nightmare addictions; suicide by Battery Acid & Drain-O combination salts of friends and the murder of my precious Imps, the lights of my life as Red-Sided Eclectus hen & cock; coupled with the intentional and premeditated murder by contempt and denigration of my inner child have unfolded; the clear comprehension of the Buddha’s statement of admonition of mindfulness toward others:

“The insincere and evil friend is more dangerous than the beast of the wood; the beast of the wood may injure your body but the evil friend will damage your mind.” Buddha

Is understood from this survivor more than any of the Sutras; more than the concepts of Impermanence and Attachment and the enforced divestment of material possessions in the intentionally inflicted plunge into aectism of a monk precipitated by the conspiracy of Primates led by the Evil Friend who emerged post Crystal Meth.

As a Luminous Being who responded to the evil friend with open and honest truth, love and compassion founded in failure to do the basic research into motivation;  I have in all actuality, all reality, done this damage to myself. This is just as the invitation to the malignant vile Jim (The mean-drunk & poisonous waitress alcoholic and drug addict happy home wrecker; the whore for beer) was invited in because of my honest request to Lee for aid and assistance to bring just one more dick, one more piece of meaningless ass into our experience by me and my “gut instincts” over-ruled by Lee at first meeting when first viewing it’s malignant and poisonous psychopath’s aura brought the demon I have nothing but pity of and for into our Tori Beach lives.

From this moment now; moving through the shock, anger and betrayals with bargaining of the grieving spirit into healing and acceptance of responsibility; these toxic doppelgangers of human; pseudo-alpha primates pulling strings to keep the appearance required to insure success in murder for profit; had no and have no concept of the reality of their combined destructive force being utilized by this Luminous Being to re-enforce the glimmering positive energy their black-holes of primates and malignancy worked diligently to destroy. 

As always is true in “the Fight That Is Most Important,” these creatures defined themselves with “Living off other people’s money” and all the other accusations hurled like feces from their rotten-green-teethed meth-mouths and chemically brain damaged brains in paranoia and delusions of grandeur deserving of institutionalization or incarceration to remove their toxic breath from the presence of all other free citizens.  It is my compassionate prayer today that this reality occurs sooner rather than later to assist in salvation of the scraps of Human that may remain after the pushed poison. The open manipulative acts of my friend Lee (who I still love very much and miss daily) in his foundational lie, his compulsion to seek the addicts and pushers and swim in the septic tank of the lack of a positive life defined the illness and the responsible party in the destruction of Tori Beach.

Hump Day Happiness 10.30.13

Posted in Creative Construction by activecitizen54 on October 30, 2013

Hump Day Happiness 10.30.13

South of the Border

South of the Border

Yesterday morning, bright and early on the bus and down to south St Pete to the psychotherapists provided me some sense of empowerment in life of and for me.  It’s making the adjustment to life of and for me that is most difficult at this moment.  I am now two weeks camped out at Richards place with the cable and internet installed so I may continue to work here as I did at home on Tori Beach.  Lee’s last appearance was on Friday and, much to his credit he did keep his word to help me get to the psychiatrist.

(The great humor in that is the reality of just how he “helped” get me to the psychiatrist with that nasty mean-drunk and no count Vienna sausage-dicked JAP gutter snipe and his manipulative games and primate displays.)

I know I probably should have cropped off the dangley parts when I had the opportunity but I didn’t for the sake of reality press.  You do know how I live and breathe to keep things real.

Anyway the topic here is me (for a change) and I’m doing OK today.  Feeling worn out but that’s just the lack of sleep since Saturday.  Yes, I’ve had great difficulty sleeping since seeing the psychiatrist but it was Lee who did the damage that keeps me awake doing the required repairs.  This display to the left is what The Lee did for himself to “show-off” and “provide motivation” for me while I was working on the phone in the front office of the Gardener’s Cottage on Tori Beach.  I’m thinking this photo was taken 8/28/13 or close to that.  I suppose Lee didn’t think he had the hooks set deep enough yet to accomplish the desired ending and, thankfully, those hooks were never set because I just wouldn’t allow it.

The pain created by Lee on Friday arises from his clear intentions and his vile attitude that is founded solely within himself as is everything Lee.  So for me, doing this is therapeutic and displays the very essence of what this emotionally handicapped creature, this manipulative monster, the Bad Seed Lee is all about. 

I wounded myself in forcing Lee to keep his word.  After not seeing or speaking to him for 3 weeks I pushed and got my way.  I’m sure the wounds are equal on both sides but then again for Lee to be wounded he would require a conscious and that’s non-existent.  This is the man who “uses” others to gain what he wants now.

The image is important only to me but for me it portrays the fundamental and essential lie and foundational fraud of the narcissistic creature captured in digital imagery here. 

The good news is that Jorge Villatoro and I spoke yesterday about getting the hotel and ecotourism business up and running into Mezapa, Honduras and I’ve agreed to assist in the funding for that project as well.  Here I go pleading to the mafia for a million.  I may end up married to accomplish this but it will be well worth the suffering.

During the course of the day today I spent a small amount of time and sent this email off to Lee:

Lee:

October is nearly over and in a strong desire for closure, resolution for myself, I am compelled to impose upon you for a brief moment here.  Thank you for your indulgence.

I miss my friend Lee.  I hold no ill will toward you nor would I ever wish you any harm now or ever. I pray you obtain all you desire in life and want you to know that I do love my friend Lee now and always.  It is because I do love and care about your health and well being that I addressed honestly and directly the addiction and the behavior changes that are damaging to you and clearly damaged me. 

Do you understand that Lee?
You have clearly and intentionally damaged me.
You employed intellectual intimacy and used others to accomplish this.

For me to heal I have to bring myself to a point of forgiveness and compassion for you and mostly for myself. 

You’ve been very clear that your intent now, as from May forward, is to inflict as much pain, deliver as much venom and poison life in any and every way you could manipulate inclusive of the use of others.  I see this, I know this and I forgive you for your foundational fraud and basic lie of life in your betrayal of trust and total departure from truth and reality.

Lee you came to share a home with me, WE found and CREATED Tori Beach as a cooperative effort.  YOU began the sabotage and destruction founded in your resentment and dishonesty in March nearly a year later (11 months to be exact).

I do forgive you and want you to know that I spent the happiest year of my life living peacefully with my friend Lee who I do love and care for but I am not in love with.  I would be happy today living with my friend Lee but the creature you’ve become under the influence of crystal meth is obscene.  The liars and thieves with whom you associate disgusting and without any redeeming qualities and unwelcome in my life now or ever.  Those are your choices as the current life conditions demonstrate with my active destruction of Tori Beach.

The record is clear that it was and is my financial failure that created the destruction and I remind you one last time that you are and were held harmless and without liability while being FULLY INFORMED.  It was and is with your full knowledge and totally above-board as I struggled to meet the demands of maintaining Tori Beach.

My resentment began with your crystal meth induced paranoia, your obscene demands to turn OUR Home into someone else’s closet and the obscene use of the nasty JAP to drive the wedges you obviously required to move on.  Ask yourself Why?

Lee, I do forgive you and wish you happiness and fulfillment in this life.

You defined clearly the creature that you aspire to be and that is not acceptable to me.  I pray you receive all you desire in this life, that you are happy and that one day, my friend Lee may reappear.

Your friend, who loves you,
Kevin

.

Terroist Tuesday 10.29.13

Posted in Creative Construction by activecitizen54 on October 29, 2013

Terrorist Tuesday 10.29.13

FB_IMG_1372106043292488

My sensitivity levels are off the scale and beyond the charts after seeing the psychotherapist today bright and early this morning. 

I pushed Lee into taking me to the psychiatrist’s office last Friday; in effect making him keep his word to me. I clearly viewed this then and now as a self-inflicted wound and truly enjoyed delivering wounds of my own upon him as rapidly and fluently as I was able while maintaining the appearance of civility.

After sustaining the 5 months-long terrorism of Lee’s chemically induced paranoia; the manipulation of the Jim’s Jewish Princess issues compounded by their economic warfare with A/C cranked down, windows thrown open and sustaining the $350.00 to $550.00 power bills, then  having the nasty mean-drunk Jew feeding off my wallet and out of my refrigerator and cupboards.  I am finally feeling some relief.  I have taken refuge with friends and that too is a tremendous disappointment to the vile gutter-slime creatures as demonstrated because I am not homeless, wandering the streets being criminalized for being homeless.

I do have to admit that I am gratified that Tori Beach is denied to all.  I am proud of my and Lee’s and my accomplishments with Tori Beach but I am not proud of the paranoid creature my friend Lee demonstrated then and continues to demonstrate now.  It is vile and disgusting, a walking cadaver, a mere husk of primate who now plasters his emaciated form on line.

Karmic Law will not be denied.  The players are on notice; Karmic Law will not be denied..

Tori Beach Is Dead

Posted in Creative Construction by activecitizen54 on October 25, 2013

Tori Beach Is Dead

On 10/14/2013 as I returned from having a full mental health assessment done, a 5 hour process, with my friend Jerry along side me I found the taped notice for eviction on 10/15/2013 by 10:20 AM.  Not that things are ever easy when it come to conclusions but I was hardly expecting to have the brain battered and picked apart for 5 hours and then have the life and love of my life pulled from under me.

This is how life is for me now.

Tori Beach is Dead.

Today is 10/25/13 and it has been 21 days since I last saw Lee.  He went home to Mommy and Daddy and I’m sure replenished his coffers as a result.  He has fled to some undisclosed source where he is rooming with another Gay Man and that’s cool too. 

At this point I respect his desire for “no contact” on the grounds of identifying this Lee as a venomous and very toxic primate.  The emaciated and cadaverous tweeker who was behind the wheel is a person I don’t know and don’t want to know. I thanked him and paid him gas money and was very happy to exit as rapidly as possible.

New rules, no animosity and life for me moves forward in directions opposite from where Lee is.  I have no doubt that several weeks, months or years from now the fates will have Lee knocking on the door again and I don’t honestly know if that door will ever again open.

Had I seen any effort at all from Lee to assist in resolution of the issues rather than inflammation and antagonistic buckets of bullshit I could’ve, to the bitter end, saved Tori Beach but that was not to be.  The leopard doesn’t change it’s spots and neither would I for anyone in this life now or ever..

Tori Beach Demise 9.5.13

Posted in Creative Construction by activecitizen54 on October 23, 2013

Tori Beach Demise 9.5.13

“The feeling within me now is one of performing an autopsy.”  Kevin painfully and cautiously admitted to Lee as they sat among the wreckage of the happy home they once enjoyed with comfort and ease of companionship without the “attachments” others expect and perceive.

“Lee, I freely admit to making a conscious decision.  I stopped and counted to 10 on three separate occasions prior to making the clear choice to unlock the death-grip on the door; flinging the damned thing away from me with all the intensity of the poison delivered to me.  I understood then, as I do now, why.”  Kevin explained with something less than that Buddha smirk running across his time furrowed face.  The event that precipitated that explosive act, disturbing a Saturday night cluster-fuck in the Gardener’s Cottage, the result of Tom’s near overdose.  Lee and Jim’s combined negative energies in reading the room for Kevin’s benefit only served to be icing on the cake of discontent..

“This mental masturbation today is intended to satisfy my need for your comprehension of why Tori Beach is destroyed and that brief Camelot of Happiness for Kevin washed away as if in Biblical flood as the act of a vengeful God.”  Resignation and failure flooded through the language, the tone of delivery measured and carefully constructed as the Mentor in Kevin rose to the surface attempting to mask the grief for the death of his inner child, his Imps and the acts of creation founded in love of and forTori Beach and all that transpired and expired there.

“I think I do understand.” Lee, listening intently, sifting, evaluating and respectfully considering the unfolding of the cadaverous conditions of life.  “It is the other, those perceptions and assumptions made by people outside the friendship we have becoming the trigger.”  Lee thoughtfully and accurately expressed with clear compassion and concern for his friend and occasional Mentor.

“There is a history, Lee.” painfully arose from Kevin.  “Throughout our lives, our friendship we’ve found each other at turning points, crisis or pinnacle as each case may be, all unique and all identical in the reality of those events happening and fate putting us in proximity each time.  This is our, and I know you abhor that reference to this thing between us, combined energy and combined issues.  Two independent humans, Giraffes, each guarding others back that has grown between us and that source of refuge and solace I find in your company is the result of our ability to communicate with each other in the same language.”

“I admit to a certain level of comfort with you but it’s this “other” that you speak of that I’m not so sure about.”  Lee directed his questioning carefully.  Are you speaking of the other men?  What is the other? 

“The Other is this sudden energy reversal; this holding opinions of others as valid, in fact more valid that what you and I know to be true.  Holding the negative and endorsing that through actions rather than words.  Allowing someone else to dictate behavior within our relationship and within our home from less than honest positions.  Does that make sense?”  Kevin inquired.

“I’m not a monogamously inclined human.  For me having 4, 5 or 6 playmates is a comfortable idea of how I want to live.”  Lee stated clearly.

“There are no complaints from me on those levels Lee, as long as my friend Lee is in life with me and we are moving in positive directions I am a happy man.”  Kevin’s admiration and affection for Lee apparent and problematic because of the “appearance” of being coupled.  Because of false observations of Kevin’s interest in Lee exclusively when playing in groups, the lies and fraud of a mean-drunk and the demand that our home become someone else’s closet all tipped Tori Beach into the black hole of joyless pain, created the merde maelstrom and death of Tori Beach. 

The clearly expressed “using other people, just as they use me.” statements from Lee a partial expression of explanation for Michael, Carlos, Frankie on 4th St and that introduced the chemical playtime of Crystal Meth and the addiction(s).  The IV users and the appearance of Tom and his partner, Dave and the other Frankie and Tony showed graphic demonstrations of the damage of long term use. Lee’s own growing paranoia and irrational behavior more evidence.

“This is not a substance I am able to chip.”  Kevin clearly observed.  “The multiple addictions it creates. The impossibly entwined sexual addiction and the chemical addiction added to the overwhelming amplification of sensations driven from the pleasure center of your brain while that tissue is being destroyed slowly with each use are all terrors for me.”  Kevin confided to Lee in a very candid glimpse into the foundations of Kevin’s being.

More questions, more understanding “the perception” and “the other” and more realization of power and control of this chemical substance pursued Kevin through the last days of Tori Beach.  That is not complaint but reality around Kevin in the crisis conditions of Tori Beach that were not visible to the outsider, or fully known to the intimate. 

The debt load of $2,000.00 a month to keep Tori Beach a functioning entity for the comfort of Lee & Kevin too much for Kevin to withstand as the only income and with the erratic hours created with Crystal Meth, six-day runs without sleep and the steady stream of men coming to play it is no wonder that the neighbors don’t complain.

The autopsy concluded.

The perspective today is from away from that once brilliant positive energy point created in love, respect and admiration for and of each other.  Tori Beach is now decomposing in the Florida glaring sunshine miles from where Kevin silently mourned all that once was.

“Coming to play?” Lee texts. “Next Tea is at 9:00.”

Playtime is over for Kevin.

Vibrational Victory

Posted in Creative Construction by activecitizen54 on October 21, 2013

Vibrational Victory

1052660_10201026343316509_1092395957_o

A great part of the success of the Tori Beach community in the very beginning was the purge of the negative vibrations and dissonant waves of Corey and Cami.  The exit of these energies early (within the first days) created the harmonic flow of energy from Lee and me and allowed the tuning of the waves to the foundational energy of the 60 year old home left vacant for too long.

When Theresa arrived to perform the Riki Blessing I had already salted the corners and gotten the sage out so the alignment of the house to Lee and Me became instinctive.

This “alignment” of Tori Beach is a great part of the foundation of love, acceptance and peace that ruled for all but the chemical death throes of this wonderful place, now mere memory.

For Lee and all those who experienced this wonderful and delightful place in space and time I have only love, admiration and fond memories.  For the addicts, the dealers, the Tweekers and casual observers and those other vile demons of mean-drunks and users the contempt delivered will be returned three times over and rapidly  as Instant Karma explodes in your faces.  A new Tori Beach is rising.

Tagged with: , ,